By Britt Simmerman
Guest Columnist
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” –e.e. cummings
When I read these 12 words now I realize the truth in them. With the recent flux of teenage suicides related to bullying, it is hard to dispute the existence of this growing problem.
In the past few months the media has shed light on the deaths of many young men and women. Numerous stories center on the students’ sexual orientation, as more and more of today’s homosexual, bisexual, or transgender youth are taking their own lives.
As a homosexual, my heart aches for these teens. As a human being, my stomach turns with guilt at a society that condones the acts that lead to these events.
When I hear of these acts of bullying, violence, and suicide, my mind flashes back to the summer after my freshman year of college.
I had returned home for the summer months, full of excitement for the free time ahead but my excitement would not last long.
My friends from high school were not answering my calls and plans to hang out were being cancelled for no reason. I wasn’t sure what was happening until my phone rang one morning.
I answered the phone to a disguised voice on the other end simply stating, “We don’t hang out with gays.” Short. Simple.
I was shocked for two reasons: I had not come out to any of my friends from high school at this time and I never thought my “friends” would treat someone that way.
The calls kept coming, increasing in severity, until the day I received my first death threat. I didn’t understand why or how people could react in this manner, especially since I had never publicly even acknowledged my orientation. Thankfully, just as quickly as the harassment started, it abruptly ended. However, this did not change the effect on my life that the bullying would have.
My experiences of bullying are based on my sexuality, as are many of the stories featured in news reports today.
Other recent cases are based on other factors though. Children, teenagers, and young adults alike are dodging attacks of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse for traits such as intelligence, weight, income level, and many other facets of one’s life.
While I empathize and sympathize with the victims of bullying, I have to ask: What makes it seem okay for bullies to engage in their abusive behavior?
I am afraid that the answer lies in each of us. We are all guilty, in some way, shape, or form, of bullying. I will openly and honestly admit that I have made fun of people, whether to their faces or behind their backs. I have told others stories before I knew the validity of the information.
The sad truth is this: we are all guilty. I wholeheartedly feel that, in the same way that it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a social culture to raise a bully.
Bullying stems primarily from the societal standards that we have put upon ourselves. We want to be well-liked, successful, beautiful, and more or less “normal.” We push ourselves to these limits and shun those who we think do not live up to these standards as well as we do.
Bullies are targeting those who they feel skew these standards.
It’s okay to be smart, but not too smart. If you’re overweight, you must be lazy. If you’re homosexual, you just don’t fit into our social scheme. Whatever the attack, it all seems to stem from an unwillingness to budge from these views in which we have all been indoctrinated. I am not saying that we are all horribly doomed as a society by any means. I am saying that we have the power to change it.
We all have a responsibility now. These teenagers who have suffered at the hands of bullies cannot be forgotten. We should not sweep this problem, along with their stories, their humiliation, or their deaths, under the rug. It is time to take it upon our selves, as the future leaders of our world, to change the way we think and act toward one another.
Whether we agree with another’s life decisions, feel threatened or jealous of another’s talents, or just feel a general dislike toward another person, we must remember that every person has the basic human right to respect. Every person, regardless of orientation, race, religion, intelligence or income level, has the right to live a life free of fear. Bullying rips this right away from them.
Now, more than ever, it takes a great deal of courage for a person to grow up and become who they really are. It’s time to stop making it more difficult, and time to start applauding the courage it takes to be your self.
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